Wendy Doves Blog

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Relationships, the Surprising Secrets of Attraction

Relationships, the Surprising Secrets of Attraction

Falling in Love

 
What happens when you fall in love? There are many books, films, poems and songs about falling in love. These love stories take us on an emotional fantasy journey and through repetition eventually mold how we ‘think’ about falling in love and here lies the key, because actually much of falling in love is in the mind. When it comes to the falling in love that precedes a relationship a lot of it comes down to biological responses and impulses!
 

Love at first sight

Science is telling us that what we might call ‘Love at first sight’, might better be named ‘Potential at first sight’! Because what sparks that initial attraction between two people is a blend of intriguing biological impulses and behaviours that all seem to relate to genetics. Our basic animal 
instincts are recognising a good ‘mate’ with our senses, If they smell right, because apparently we can recognise a good gene match from someone’s almost imperceptible scent and if they look right (to us), we will take a second look at each other. We seem to be naturally hard-wired to find a mate and eventually to reproduce, both sides of the partnership will recognise that they have 
‘compatible’ genes, which is why usually this initial attraction goes both ways.Courting 
couples also communicate to each other unconsciously with deep ingrained, behavioural patterns, just like the colourful feathered display of birds of paradise, we are unconsciously using body language to get the message across. 
 
 
The combination of all these psychological reasons creates a powerful love potion 
that will send us into passion blind experience of each other that, according to 
Psychologist Dorothy Tennov “lasts between 18 months and three years” *1 before you ‘wake up’ to take a closer look at each other.
 
Written in the stars
 
Influences from the planets on day we are born give us different character and personality traits, so our birth charts can give us clues as to whether we might be compatible in these areas too! Some zodiac signs are naturally compatible, others may have more of a challenge! You can find out if you and your loved one are compatible here!
Why do we let it happen?
 
Aside of our basic survival instincts, most often we are looking outside of our self to for something that makes us feel complete. In the transition from childhood to maturity, our life experiences naturally seem to make most people a little insecure, we have embarked on our life’s journey to 
learn about our self and frankly we usually need anything from a little to a lot help with this.
 
Perhaps intuitively we know that our relationships are a big opportunity to learn about our self and this drives us to meet the person of our dreams, but what we often fail to recognise is, that although relationships do surely help, knowing the self and finding peace with it is ultimately personal. Looking to our relationships to attain something that only we alone can do can lead us through a series of innocent and sometimes painful relationships searching for what was inside us all along.
 
As Byron Katie says, ‘...your most intimate relationship is the one you have with your thoughts.’
 
When you meet someone who makes you feel that you just have to be with them to be fulfilled it is because they held up a magical mirror and showed you a part of yourself that you need and long to know, we fall in love with the aspects we recognise in them and at the beginning of relationships it’s often the most attractive aspects. In a good relationship this can go on infinitum, because the the self is deep and together you can go deeper and deeper in a beautiful cycle, helping each other to know ourselves and our selves to know each other. Relationships become harder work when more challenging aspects of ourselves come to the mirror and we enter into a different phase of our relationship.
 
Do you have questions about your relationship? Wendy and her team of psychics are experts in the stages and challenges of our love relationships and are there to help you with yours. www.wendydove.com
 
 
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